Practicing Patience. Maybe.

So I caved. I took a test. My doctor told me not to, and I went and did it anyway. When you go through IVF, the “trigger” shot that releases your eggs is actually the hormone HCG. HCG is also the hormone that home pregnancy tests use to determine whether you are pregnant. Because of the IVF,  I already have the hormone floating around in my body, which means there is a much higher chance of a false positive.

Speaking of positive, I wasn’t feeling positive AT ALL. In fact, I was positive that I would be getting a negative. That the IVF didn’t work. I have been having a lot of abdomen pain that feels suspiciously like cramps. I have been a hormonal, teary, wreak. So Hubby said, “Take the test. It will at least give you some hope for the final 4 days. Just take it. You will know the hormones are working. Go pee on a stick.”

So pee on a stick I did. And guess what? I got a big ‘OL ….

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YUP! God certainly has a sense of humor…and a way to make me learn some patience! I could do nothing but laugh when this question mark popped up mere seconds after starting the test. Even more funny? The fact that the brochure included with the test says NOTHING about what the heck a question mark means. It assures you that you will get a “+” or a “-” but nothing else. humph. Yup…it’s a God thing.

Point taken Sir! I will be waiting for the beta test on Monday. Again, if you could spare some time and pray for us, especially for patience, we would really appreciate it!

IVF: Was it Worth It?

My husband and I have been fighting infertility for 5 years now. The emotional and physical pain have at times been almost too much to bear. We have had 1 successful IUI that resulted in an ectopic pregnancy, and 3 other failed IUI’s. I have had a surgery trying to rid my body of  fibroids, which then resulted in producing endometriosis. I have PCOS, messed up hormones, and an inability to lose weight no matter the strictest diets and workout regimes. I’m losing the hair on my head, and growing it in places it should not be. I am ready to be done. Either accept our childlessness, or adopt. But we had not tried the big one: IVF.

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Now, please realize, I am a very strong believer in my Catholic faith. I always said (even before my infertility battle) that I would never do IVF. But when you are in the midst of the battle, you will try just about anything. Essential oils? check. Eat pineapple core? check. Acupuncture? check. Mayan abdominal massage? check. Take your temperature every morning? check. Track your cervical mucus? check.check.check. I have read every book, every recommendation. I know more about a woman’s menstrual cycle than I ever wanted to know. I still resisted IVF. It just didn’t feel right, my church says it isn’t right, and besides that, it is crazy expensive. So we talked, we saved, we spoke with our doctor, we came up with a plan. We would only fertilize those eggs that would be a used for a fresh transfer. We would not freeze any. So I wouldn’t have any actual “children” hanging out on ice. It was the answer I was looking for. God Bless my doctor for being willing to do something a bit different than their usual, just to make me feel comfortable with the process.

So here I am. 36 days into the process. 10 days into the 2ww after the embryo transfer (we had 3 viable embryo’s out of 14 eggs, and 10 fertilized eggs). Daily (sometimes multiple) shots, bruises all over my belly and backside, hormones all over the place. And now I wait. and wait. and wait.

I started out this process in a very good place mentally and spiritually. The new song by Hillary Scott, “Thy Will” has been playing on a constant repeat in my head (even before I found out she wrote it after her own miscarriage). I felt I was truly ok, no matter the outcome. As my blood test gets closer though, I realize how much I have been lying to myself. There is nothing in this world I want more than a child. I feel like I was meant to be a mother. How could God give me this feeling, this KNOWING, and then NOT give me a child?  What if it didn’t work? We are not like other couples, where we can try this again and again. We could barely afford this round. Both my husband and I will be working multiple jobs for the foreseeable future to pay for it, successful or not. This is a one shot try for us. Will I have to make a $400 payment every month for the next 3 years for nothing? Will it make it harder to pay for an adoption? Did we make the wrong decision? Or will God grant us the miracle we are so hoping for? The unknown is so terrifying. So…was it worth it? I really can’t say yet.

If you could, all I would ask is this: Will you please pray for us today? Will you pray that God will grant the longing in our hearts? Will you pray that we be able to accept HIS WILL for our lives and to let go of this longing if it is not what He planned for us?

 

Cameo at Cameo Studio with a Cameo!

Cameo and I are hanging out in the studio here at Cameo Designs and Oils today. I’m making some tees and wine glasses for a sweet family that is awaiting the arrival of their first Granddaughter! Cameo, the pup, is helping (or just cheering me on), as I use my handy Silhouette Cameo to create. I LOVE my Cameo(s)!

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As a graphic designer, my favorite tool is Adobe Illustrator. In order to more easily use Illustrator, I bought the plug-in, Silhouette Connect, from Silhouette America. It works great and makes transferring my designs to the cutter so much easier!

For these designs, I am using glitter HTV from Expressions Vinyl for the tee and Oracel 651 for the wineglass. Glamma-01

This particular Grandma is a bit too fancy for the title…so her family has already dubbed her “GLAMMA!” I love it! The design is simple, and really all about the glitter. On simple designs like this, I love to use positive and negative space. The only issue is the bottom looked a little light. So why not add another flourish? She is a Glamma after all!

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Finished product! I think it turned out great!

 

 

5 Years, Going Strong!

Today is my handsome husband and my FIFTH anniversary! 5 Years!! WHAAAAT?!?!?!

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I’m not going to lie, it hasn’t been easy. But the best things in life never are, right? Those vows we took together in front of our family and God were so true. In sickness and in health, for richer for poorer. We have had some major bumps in our road, but we have traveled them together, and our marriage has become stronger for it. We have been tested in fire! I am so BLESSED to have him as my partner in this journey, and so thankful for God (and eHarmony!) for bringing him into my life. I can honestly say that I love him more today than I did on that snowy day 5 years ago. I can’t wait to see what the next 5 (and 50) hold in store for us. I love you, my funny, handsome, smart, strong, loving man!

It’s the BEST DAY EVER!

The past weekend, I was lucky enough to get to go spend some quality time with my nephews in Chicago. These amazing boys are growing so fast…and I feel like I am missing it because I live so far away. We often facetime, which helps, but there is nothing better than having a little guy come sit in your lap, a hand hold your face, all while telling you about his favorite Star Wars character. Makes my heart so happy!

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While visiting, we decided to go on a walk to their neighborhood park. Half-way there, a butterfly landed on my younger nephews shoe…to which he immediately stated: “It’s just the BEST DAY EVER!” Oh, to be filled with that kind of joy and wonder! That sweet little phrase has stuck with me for the past week. It has helped me remember to find the joy in the everyday. So many times, as adults, we get so caught up in what we need to do, in our deadlines, in the details, that we forget to find joy in something so simple. The joy of a sweaty, three-year-olds hand holding mine, the joy of spending time cuddling on the couch and learning about Star Wars (which I have a lot to learn apparently!), the joy of a butterfly randomly landing on your shoe.

Today, go out and find something simple that brings you joy, and revel in it. Make it be your BEST DAY EVER! Then go out and do the same tomorrow.

Freedom Isn’t Free

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Last night, Hubs and I finally sat down and watched the movie “American Sniper.” While watching this amazing true story of an American Hero, we had fireworks going off all over our neighborhood.

I can’t imagine how difficult the Fourth holiday is for our Vets, especially the ones suffering with PTSD. A day that is suppose to celebrate our Freedoms…and I feel like our country has forgotten about the reason we ARE free. These amazing, brave men and women, have given their lives for our freedom. For the right to say anything you want. For the right to pray how you want. For the right to celebrate by setting off fireworks. I think we (Americans whom have never been in a war-zone) can sometimes get so comfortable in our nice homes, in safe neighborhoods, in beautiful churches, that we completely forget about HOW and WHY we are able to enjoy these things.

Today, on this our nations birthday, I urge you to thank a Vet. Shake their hand. Salute. Stand up when you see the flag during a parade. Sing the National Anthem with your hand over your heart. Recite the Pledge of Allegiance with your family before sitting down to your barbeque. Say a prayer for our soldiers who are fighting for our freedoms in war zones. Tell your children how our great nation came to be. Most of all, remember. REMEMBER. Freedom isn’t free. It has been bought and paid for by the lives of many American’s. Every one of them heroes.

#freedomisntfree

Dear Kitten:

Have you seen that video? It has to be one of my all-time favorites on Youtube. Every time I watch it, I giggle and giggle. Va-coom. Makes me laugh every.single.time! Well…that video is coming to life in my very own house right now!

A week ago, I found an itty-bitty kitten hiding under a car in the parking lot at work. In the rain. Covered in fleas. Ribs showing. My heart melted. Needless to say, he came home with me.

We kept him separated from our cat and dog for the first few days. Once the vet gave the ok, he joined them. It has been so fun watching our beloved pets take on this new little tyke. Cameo, our 11-year-old Cockapoo, is the ultimate big sister. She follows little Petie around. Whenever he starts getting into something he shouldn’t (which is every other second), she uses her nose to push him along. It is so sweet!

Piper, our oversized Tiger…er…cat, was a bit stand-offish at first. Now that he has realized little Petie isn’t going anywhere, they are having a grand time! We are hoping that all the playtime will help our Piper-boy drop a few pounds. In the meantime, we love watching Piper show Petie the ropes of the house…namely how to hide from the va-coom!

Love this baby! #peterpiper #ittybittybaby

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(Also…did you catch the names? Peter. Piper. We crack ourselves up! As hubs says, we WILL NOT be getting a Pepper or a Pickles! So DO NOT OFFER US ANOTHER CAT! )

hello cameo!

Welcome to my little space on the web-o-sphere! A little bit about me: I am a textile/graphic designer, lover of essential oils and fur-babies, a Believer with a capital B, a history buff, and a woman trying to live a more natural life. This blog will touch a bit on all of these things…sometimes in the same post!

The name of my blog, hello cameo, is an ode to my sweet 11-year-old pup, Cameo. She was named after my Grandmother’s cameos, which my Grandfather brought back from Italy to her after fighting in WWII. Cameo jewelry is an amazing juxtaposition. It is made from coral, which takes thousands of years to create. It’s rough, jagged, and can injure. Yet the jewelry carved out of that coral is delicate, soft, smooth, and absolutely beautiful! A lot like life. It can be hard, but you can create something beautiful. Join me on my journey!